As Was His Custom: Solitude
I clearly recall two distinct spaces when I was a young teen where I often escaped to be alone with God. One was on long walks within our family farm, where I spent weekends. I’d take off across the field and traverse down to the river valley, singing songs to Him, simply enjoying His fellowship. I craved this haven of solitude and found myself returning again and again. At my mom’s house in town, where there was less acreage to roam, I discovered another solitary space- a small, wooded gravel path just steps from our neighborhood. It became a frequent place for me to be alone, pray, and sing. To this day, I can remember all the words to a small song of worship God gave me one day as I roamed that small path. Even at the age of 13, I had a deep inner craving to find “a desolate place” to realign with and gain strength from my Savior. These moments were formative and sustaining for me in my journey of faith.
Jesus (Yeshua) And His Practice of Solitude
“And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him.” Luke 22:39
As I experienced in my own life as a young teen, throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus regularly departing from the crowds (or even his own closest friends) to be alone with God. Throughout the gospels, I found numerous instances where Jesus intentionally pursued a space of solitude.
As was his custom, Jesus:
“departed and went into a desolate place.”
“went up on the mountain by himself.”
“went out to the mountain to pray.”
“was praying alone.”
“withdrew with his disciples.”
“withdrew again to the mountain by himself.”
These are just a few examples. But each representation in the account of Jesus’ earthly life speaks to the immense value he placed on time alone with the Father. He models for us a necessary and profoundly impactful habit that significantly shapes the depth and strength of our life with God.
Jesus’ Custom Of Solitude
Upon a closer look at Jesus and his practice of Solitude, we learn that while the practice is similar, there are several reasons why Jesus valued it.
Jesus Practiced Solitude:
1 - To Pray (“He would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” Luke 5:16)
If you’re like me, when you think about Jesus and his practice of solitude, it’s likely you immediately connect this with his prayer life. We frequently see Jesus’ practice of solitude for the singular purpose of prayer. He would rise early in the morning while it was still dark to start his day in prayer (Mark 1:35). He prayed alone all night before selecting his twelve disciples (Luke 6:12). Jesus went up on the mountain to pray during a busy time of ministry (Matthew 14:23). When crowds were pressing in on him or when he needed direction. In the midst of competing demands, Jesus withdrew, and he prayed.
2 - To Be Tried/Tested in Fulfillment of God’s Redemptive Plan
At the launch of Jesus’ earthly ministry, he was “led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” (Matthew 4:1). During this time of fasting and prayer, Jesus overcame temptation and forever identified with all humankind, experiencing the sustaining power of God and His Word alone as he overcame temptation. Just as Jesus experienced in his wilderness, we, too, may experience a time of testing, where God proves Himself alone to be enough in our lives.
3 - In the Midst of Grief
Upon learning of the death of John the Baptist, Jesus withdrew from the crowds. “Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself.” (Matthew 14:13). It appears that even in his deep grief, Jesus knew his greatest comfort would come from time with the Father.
4 - To Mitigate Attention
Jesus was highly popular and drew crowds wherever he went during his earthly ministry. While Jesus had compassion on and loved them, he did not get swept away in sensationalism, nor did he draw his value or importance from the attention of the crowds. Instead, Jesus had the wisdom to discern when to depart from or dismiss a crowd or even seek to be concealed from the public. He knew when the Pharisees may be conspiring against him and withdrew (Matthew 12:15). He sought to be hidden after leaving the region of Tyre and Sidon (Mark 7:24). He departed crowds when he knew it was time for him to continue to other regions (Luke 4:42-43). He withdrew from the crowds when he perceived they were seeking to make him their political king (John 6:15). Jesus knew his purpose and sought solitude to stay in alignment with God’s plan.
5 - To Rest
Solitude made way for restorative rest when the disciples returned from being sent out on ministry trips. “And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves.” (Mark 6:31-32).
What Jesus Understood
One of the truths that most strongly stood out to me in studying Jesus’ practice of solitude is the foundation from which he operated. Jesus knew and operated from the truth that his strength, security, and purpose came solely from his place with the Father. Thus, he prioritized time to connect solely with Him.
Why is solitude so hard for many of us?
Solitude involves a setting aside (either physically or internally) of outside influences, distractions, and presence. When we are not centered in that same foundation that Jesus had with the Father, solitude can feel instead like loneliness or abandonment, a state many of us fear.
However, in his book “Celebration of Discipline,” Richard Foster differentiates solitude from the state of loneliness, stating we often avoid solitude due to our fear of being alone; but true solitude is quite distinct from loneliness. Rather than loneliness, solitude affords us “the freedom to be alone, not to be away from people but to hear the divine Whisper better.”
Jesus reflected on this truth in John 8:29 when he said,
“And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.” And again in John 16:32: “Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me.”
Jesus expounds on this truth further when he states in John 4:34, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.” Jesus’ grounding of purpose gave him focus to see and prioritize his absolute need for the Father’s voice.
We would do well to operate in this same truth, understanding our place with the Father and spending time alone with Him. This is the key to learning the discipline of solitude and developing a deeper inner life with God that sustains us in all circumstances.
How Can We Follow Jesus In This Way?
We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with noise, busyness, and distraction. Yet we were created, as in the Garden of Eden, to commune with God and to live in fellowship with Him. We afford ourselves the opportunity to be refreshed in our spirit and gain strength, purpose, and grounding essential to a thriving life in God when we get alone with the Father.
Since Jesus knew and valued the importance of solitude, intentionally “getting away” to realign with God and renew our hearts, I certainly want to follow in his footsteps and value and prioritize this habit in my own life.
There are myriad ways in which we can walk in Jesus’ footsteps to practice the habit of solitude. We can physically go to/create a space of solitude in our homes or in nature. Or, we can simply quiet the voices and distractions around us to create a “moment” with God. One story I love about creatively cultivating solitude is of Susanna Wesley, mother of John Wesley- the founder of the Methodist movement. As a mom of multiple children, she could not often find space for physical solitude, so she created a habit of putting her apron up over her head to spend time with Him. It wasn’t quiet, but it was a way to create that space of solitude and communicate to her children that she was not to be disturbed.
While the practice of solitude can look differently for us all, here are a few ideas to help:
Remove Distractions
While physically entering a space of solitude (a quiet room, a place in nature) can certainly help set the stage for a time of communion and refreshing with God, the key is quieting our hearts and minds long enough to connect qualitatively with the Lord. It can significantly help to remove distractions, such as turning off your phone or being in a quiet place for a long time while connecting with God.
Redeem Small Moments
If this is a new practice for you, or even if you’re simply trying to find more ways to commune with God in solitude, don’t overlook or underestimate the small pockets of time you can find in your day to redirect your heart and mind to the Lord.
Create your own small space of solitude in the car on your commute (try turning off the radio/music and focus your attention on the Lord in silence).
Turn your first thoughts in the morning as you wake to the Lord in prayer.
Pray as you’re falling asleep at night (I personally love this one).
Select a habit you do each day (such as making coffee) and create a rhythm of inner solitude every time you complete this task.
Even in the midst of a busy schedule, there are many ways to get away with the Lord “in a desolate place.”
Examine our Vices
As humans, while on this broken earth, we will always feel the pull of drawing our worth from things other than God alone, whether it be security, value, importance, or comfort. These often come in vices, such as accolades, success, activity, people pleasing, or others. Yet, to truly see the fruit of solitude in our lives, we need to create enough space from these vices that we can truly allow the Father to be our sole foundation. Here are a few questions to ask as you consider what vices may be holding you back from deeper communion with Him:
Where do I turn first when I am faced with uncertainty or fear?
How do I respond when I am rejected by others?
How often do I get still and remove distractions/noise just to be with God? If this is hard for you, what makes it so?
When we dig a bit to unearth and root out the vices that prevent us from stillness, quietness, and communion with God, we create a reservoir that Christ can fill with more of His Spirit. It’s well worth the tradeoff.
As Richard Foster noted, “Whether alone or among people, we always carry with us a portable sanctuary of the heart.” Let us relentlessly seek to enter that sanctuary regularly that we may commune with God and experience more of His goodness in our lives.
