As Was His Custom: Submission
I remember it vividly. Michael (my pastor husband) and I were leading a group of engaged couples through several months of pre-marriage counseling and preparation. During that time, we leaned into some heavy passages of Scripture that ruffled a few feathers. This time, Michael asked everyone to open their Bibles to Ephesians 5:22-33. Immediately, once the pages were turned and the passage quickly scanned, I heard several breaths suck in, saw shoulders stiffen, and mouths turn down. The women’s eyes shifted hastily from the page to their future husbands, and the men all seemed to be looking at the ceiling for an auditory word FROM THE LORD.
Submit. That word alone sends shivers down spines. It acts as a gut punch for any woman who has, at one time or another, wanted to lead something in her church or home. It shuts the mouths of prophets, silences wives everywhere, and makes a lot of men in our Western culture uncomfortable. It’s a word that’s been abused in the Church for hundreds, possibly thousands of years.
What’s surprising is that Jesus practiced submissiveness. Wait - submissiveness was a normal custom of a man? The Son of God?
Women of Valor: Elisabeth Elliot
I grew up hearing the story of Elisabeth Elliot and her great empowerment of Christian women. However, I remember hearing her once answer a question on her radio show to a woman who asked a question about what to do since her husband physically abused her. Elisabeth’s response stunned me. She told the woman to stay and submit to her husband. I was appalled. I couldn’t reconcile the eighty-year-old woman whose voice cracked across the radio waves and the brave woman who faced the murderous jungle tribe with a toddler strapped to her torso. For years, I struggled to want to read anything that she wrote. Why would she tell a woman to stay with an abuser?